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The Psychology Of Gift Giving

Updated: Nov 10

Do you think it's the gift that matters or is it the thought that matters most?



The Gift You Give Usually Depends On How Well You Know That Person


Relationships have become stressed simply by the nature of gift that was given. Relationships have also grown based on how well the gift choice was. So, do you think that it's the gift that matters? Think about your life for a moment. Throughout it, how many times do you think you've heard that it's the thought that matters. Well, maybe they were wrong.


What Happens When You Don't Give The Gift That Matters


If you want to express gratitude, then in those cases it's probably the thought that matters most, that counts. However, if you are giving a gift to someone with an emotional investment, you'd better guess that the gift does matter. Disappointment in relationships comes when when partners give gifts that have little to do with that person.


Consider the husband who's given his wife the same necklace for Christmas two years in a row. Something like this implies he clearly isn't paying attention to her. Or, how about the wife who continually gifts her husband cologne that he hasn't worn in years. Her focus was clearly elsewhere. Relationships like that typically don't last.


What Happens When You Do Give The Gift That Matters


Think about the adult son who remembers to buy his mom a book by her favorite author or a blouse in her favorite color. Or your new boyfriend who sent you the flowers you pointed out when you were away on that weekend retreat together.


Those who are aware of the other person always find a way to get the right gift. That kind of gift giving strengthens relationships. The gift that's given clearly states how much attention you are giving that person. It also signifies that they were important enough to invest your time.


What If You Don't Like The Gift You Got?


Since you're wiser to the gift giving process now, you can be the bigger person, and plainly show gratitude. Now that you've shown your gratitude, you can show your honesty. You're doing them a favor by letting them in closer to better knowing you.


Not all situations suite gracious honesty, so use your best judgment. But, I think you get the picture, or already experienced this same exact thing.


So, The next time you are giving a gift to someone you want to have a good relationship with, first give them the gift of thought.


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